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| This little monk is always with me in the garden |
I met a women last night who was introduced to me as a 'blogger'. So, needless to say, I also introduced myself as a blogger. The first thing she asked me was 'really, what do you blog about?'.... I was stopped in my tracks. What do I blog about?
My response finally came out... My blog is called Thyme for Tea - that's Thyme, as in the herb, and Tea, as in the comforting warm drink one enjoys at a leisurely pace on the weekends.... and I usually do that in my garden. My blog, is therefore, a place when I ponder the things I think about in my garden....'
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| it might be the end of winter, but there's a feel of spring in the air |
This morning, I have some time for some in depth reflection. And I'm thinking about why I'm feeling upset (and unusually inert) that I'm not who I thought I was.....
Recently, through work, I participated in a 360 leadership assessment. This is a form of personality assessment that invites contributions from your staff, your peers, your managers and others (360 degrees). You answer the survey questions about yourself, and they answer the same questions about you. Then the results are communicated back to you. In this instance, the focus of the survey was agility, innovation, collaboration, and performance.
On review of the results with my coach, it became blatantly obvious that my 360 assessors (peers, manager, staff and friends) and I, have matching views about me. This means that what I know about myself, the people around me can see this too. This is a wonderful trait to have. I'm pretty proud of that. I'm self aware, and my friends can see how I reflect those things that are important to me. My coach reported that my results were very impressive, and that the assessment has found only a handful of aspects of leadership that I could be working on.
Basically, the 360 leadership assessment has told me that I know who I am in the leadership space, and that my colleagues perceive that about me also. I am who I thought I was......
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| I never tire of admiring the symetry & hues of Kale |
So why am I not who I thought I was? Well, it's about pain. For most of this year I have been experiencing hip pain which has very much dampened my joy of mornings, my cycling aspirations of riding 150kms a week, and training for a 200km in a day ride.... The pain has led me to miss boot camp classes, and to huddle up with a hot wheetbag instead of taking the dog for a walk... It's not as bad is it all seems - I'm probably exaggerating because I miss all of these things in my life. And I have found my new activity, swimming, to be meditative and soothing.
I'm still undergoing tests and consults, but the bottom line is, I'm not who I thought I was - physically. I thoughts I was still young, I thought I would be climbing mountains and taking on cycling marathons for another 20 years yet..... I thought I could train for the next level of challenge - but I'm not that person.
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| Nasturtiums share the joy of crisp fresh days |
So for now.... Thyme for Tea - my blogging haven - is a reminder for me to keep on finding the joy I can get from drinking warm tea, and the energy I get from growing my own food, the pleasure I get from cooking, and the healing touch of the sun I can find in the garden.
Today, my goal is to repot, weed, plant and harvest, while I take in the health giving energy I can get from my garden.
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| potted garlic shares the winter sun with me... |
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| varieties of lettuce bring a variety of colours to the scene |
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| And red spinach stems stand out |
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| my bathtub of sweet potatoes |
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| Grapefruit for morning joy! |
3 comments:
What a gift to be able to grow things in the winter. The photos are wonderful and what they represent to me -- what any garden represents, actually -- is life and abundance, continual regeneration.
I'm so sorry to hear about your pain -- it's something I understand all too well personally and always hate knowing that someone else is facing the challenges of limitation brought about by the difficulty of life. It's as you described it -- realizing that you aren't who you though you were -- at least in that zone. And recognizing that you have to work with the new normal and hope it returns to the old one again soon. It's worrying as you wait for tests and results but if I can offer any one hope to you, it is to continue finding that spot in the garden, the time to reflect, to assess and to be. To go forward in hope, not in fear. Some things take longer than others to treat or manage, some go away completely. Some bring added gifts -- kindness from friends, support you didn't realize, a new way of looking at yourself and others that can only move you forward in life.
It's hard to grab onto the gifts while you hurt, while you worry. All I can say is try. I see you as being one who accomplishes, who lives from the heart but can work from the head. If you do both, you will be well on your way. Sending hugs and healing wishes.
Thankyou for your lovely words Jeanie, it means alot to me that you would share this with me.
This is a very inspiring post!
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